I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Rumble strips road head = magical
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
