you win again, gameday.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
