Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
