Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
