so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
