Little spoons don't ask big questions
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
