All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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