i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will pee on everything he values.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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