And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
