on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
