I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
