Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch