I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
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yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
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Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.