Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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