I murdered the dance floor call the cops
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
