Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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