I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME