Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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