you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
