She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
