hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
