you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
