why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
