Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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