maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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