When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
