I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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