Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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