What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize