Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
