Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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