Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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