Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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