I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
