I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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