and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
