somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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