even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
