I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
