Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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