So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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