"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
