member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize