Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
