she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize