You work out of a Hotel?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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