You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
