How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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