oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
