All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
