So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
