Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
