Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
