Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
