Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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