i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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