True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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