allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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