question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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