should my penis look like a turkey
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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