I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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