you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
