omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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